I felt really alone after World Cup win - Kildunne

Ellie Kildunne has played in the past two Rugby World Cup finals for England

England full-back Ellie Kildunne has admitted feeling "really alone" after experiencing an emotional dip following the Red Roses' Rugby World Cup win.

The pre-tournament star delivered by scoring a brilliant solo try in England's final victory over Canada at a sold-out 82,000-capacity Allianz Stadium in September.

Four weeks on from winning England's first World Cup in 11 years, Kildunne returned to club action for Harlequins in front of 2,929 fans at Twickenham Stoop against Loughborough Lightning.

"You are playing in front of a sold-out crowd at Allianz, you have just won a World Cup, and the next minute you are back playing over the road in front of a slither of the amount of people," the 26-year-old told BBC Sport.

"There was that little bit of a dip in 'why I am doing this?' I always say it is for the happiness and inspiring people and every room I walk into.

"My expectation gets higher of myself all the time. If I played 8/10 then I feel I might as well have played 2/10. I am going to have the highest standards for myself to keep on striving to get better.

"I needed to rework that out - how am I going to keep pushing myself from within, to keep wanting to do my best and stay completely focused.

"I went from playing Guitar Hero every night with my team-mates to going back to living on my own in Reading. Suddenly I was like 'wow, I feel really alone'.

"There is going to be good and bad emotions and things that I want to talk about. Like a dip, which is natural after a peak, but who do I talk to?

"It made me value the times that I have got with people."

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The 2024 World Rugby women's player of the year maintained her impressive form throughout last year, but missed the World Cup quarter-final victory over Scotland after sustaining a concussion in England's final pool-stage win over Australia.

Kildunne, who departed shortly after half-time, had struggled against the Wallaroos and made a number of uncharacteristic errors.

She was recalled for the semi-final against France and scored twice - including another remarkable solo try - to banish any doubts over her form before the final.

"I look back at moments in that World Cup, and I probably didn't have my best game against Australia for quite a few reasons," Kildunne said.

"Then, obviously, I got concussed, which added the pressure back on. Am I going to get back? Am I getting back for a semi-final, or am I going to get back for a final? We needed to see how far we'd get in the tournament.

"I don't crumble under that pressure - I kind of rise to it, and that's only because of the people around me.

"That's not something, yes, there is probably something genetically inside my brain and my heart that weirdly loves that type of thing."

Harlequins sit four points off the play-off spots in the Premiership Women's Rugby table, with Kildunne rediscovering her drive for success.

More than 70,000 tickets have been sold for the Red Roses' opening Six Nations game against Ireland at Allianz Stadium on Saturday.

Kildunne said it would be "very special" to return to represent England at the venue where she won the World Cup.

In December, the full-back helped Quins defeat Bristol Bears at Allianz Stadium, scoring another individual try on her return to the home of English rugby.

An eighth straight title will be the goal for John Mitchell's side this campaign, but Kildunne is looking beyond that - and using the 2029 World Cup in Australia as motivation.

"I still want to be the best player in the world and to keep on playing my rugby," she added. "I want to win another World Cup. I want to win a Prem. There is so much I still want to do."

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